MAGIKS PAGE 6
NOTES OF A WRITER
A BIT OF RUSSIAN PHILOSOPHIC WORK

THIS STORY TAKES PLACE SOMETIME AROUND THE LATE MIDDLE EARLY LATE 19TH CENTURY OR THE SAME PART OF THE 18 HUNDREDS. IT  HAPPENS IN A TYPICAL RUSSIAN VILLAGE SOMEWHERE IN CENTRAL RUSSIA, LIKE BULGARIA. THE FORM IT TAKES IS THAT OF A DIALOG BETWEEN TWO TYPICAL RUSSIAN PEASANTS; ONE A VISITING AMERICAN ROBBER BARON WHO IS PLANNING TO BUILD A LOCAL HEMORRHOID FACTORY AND THE OTHER THE LOCAL TOWN FOOL AND ELDER.

AMERICAN-I PLAN TO BUILD A FACTORY HERE.

RUSSIAN-THE EARTH IS LIKE YOUR MOTHER, COVERED IN DIRT AND COW DUNG.

AMERICAN-AH, I KNEW YOU TO BE A WISE MAN FOR THOSE SHOES YOU WEAR UPON YOUR HEAD.

RUSSIAN-WISDOM IS BUT A FLEETING MOMENT IN A LIFETIME OF IGNORANCE,

AMERICAN-THAT WAS TRULY PROFOUND.

RUSSIAN-PROFOUND ARE THE SOUNDS THAT COME FROM YOUR ASS NOT YOUR FACE.

AMERICAN-I ONCE BANGED A SCHOOLBOY WHO TALKED LIKE YOU.

RUSSIAN-WAS HE TRULY GREAT

AMERICAN-HE WAS.

RUSSIAN-THEN YOU HAVE MORE MONEY THEN ME.

AMERICAN-THAT IS POSSIBLE.

RUSSIAN-MONEY IS LIKE YOUR MOTHER COVERED IN MUD AND DUNG.

AMERICAN-SOMETIMES SHE IS.

RUSSIAN-THAT IS WELL, FOR IT IS GOOD FOR THE PORES.

AMERICAN-SO I HAVE HEARD.

RUSSIAN-SOME MEN HAVE TWO PENISES.

AMERICAN-ONE IS ALL YOU NEED IF YOU CAN USE IT.

RUSSIAN-THAT LINE IS FROM SHANE.

AMERICAN-YES, IT IS.

RUSSIAN-MY WIFE WAS ABORTED.

AMERICAN-THIS CAN BE A CRUEL WORLD.

RUSSIAN-SHE MADE GOOD SOUP.

AMERICAN-THIS WORLD IS INDEED CRUEL.

BOTH SIT SILENTLY AND HAVE PROFOUND THOUGHTS.
(30 MINUTES LATER)

AMERICAN-I SEE YOU HAVE PROFOUND THOUGHTS.

RUSSIAN-YOU HAVE GOOD SIGHT. I SEE YOU HAVE PROFOUND THOUGHTS TOO.

AMERICAN-IS IT THAT OBVIOUS?

RUSSIAN-YA. I HEAR THAT IN AMERICA THEY ARREST THOSE WITH PROFOUND THOUGHTS OR MAKE THEM MOVIE STARS.

AMERICAN-OR THEY PUT YOU ON THE COVER OF A TIME-WARNER MAGAZINE.

RUSSIAN-THAT IS INDEED CRUEL. IN RUSSIA THERE ARE MANY WITH PROFOUND THOUGHTS, THAT IS WHY WE FIGHT THE GERMANS SO OFTEN.

AMERICAN-I THOUGHT AS MUCH.

RUSSIAN-ARE YOU READY.

AMERICAN-OF COURSE.

RUSSIAN-YOU WILL BE MY BROTHER FOREVER.

AMERICAN-LIKEWISE.

THEY EXCHANGE HAND GRENADES, THERE IS A EXPLOSION, THEN SILENCE.

(AFTER WORD- TIME PASSES, THEN THE RUSSIAN GETS UP, DUSTS HIMSELF OFF AND SAYS IN RUSSIAN "ONLY 220 MILLION LEFT". HE THEN WALKS AWAY. THE END)

THE NEXT EMAIL THAT INCLUDES THE WORD BULLFROG IN A SENTENCE GETS A FREE PRINT OR BOTTLE OF SANGRE DE DRAGO. MAY THE BEST PERSON WIN.